You were so excited! After all the time and effort you dedicated to your job, you were up for a promotion. This was it, the acknowledgment you’ve been waiting for (and deserved).

Alas, the excitement quickly turned to disappointment when the word came down that your promotion was not in the cards. The company selected one of your colleagues and now you’re in shock.

You thought you were a shoe-in, the perfect fit for the position. What went wrong? How could the promotion have gone awry after all your hard work? And, more importantly, now what do you do?

When that long-awaited promotion doesn’t go as planned, here are four ways to move forward:

1. Don’t bottle up your feelings. Let ‘em out, but NOT at work. Find a trusted friend outside of the office or a family member and vent. Cry if you need to and acknowledge your frustration, disappointment, or anger. It’s only natural to have some or all of these feelings and keeping them bottled up inside isn’t healthy for you. You need to process your emotions.
2. Be a “mensch.” Mensch is a Yiddish word that means “a person of integrity and honor.” Take the time to congratulate the colleague who received the promotion. “The worst thing you can do is tear down the person who got the job,” says Ben Dattner, author of The Blame Game. Conveying your support is not only honorable, but it demonstrates your integrity and that you are still a team player.
3. Ask insightful questions. If you can talk to the decision-maker, rather than asking, “Why didn’t I get the promotion?”, consider asking what professional skills or talents they felt you were missing. Find out what you can do in the future to boost your performance so that, should you stay with the company, you’re not passed over in the future. Once you’re equipped with these details you can be more strategic moving forward.
4. Look at the bright side. Okay, this may be easier said than done at first. After all, you really wanted this position. But perhaps there’s something bigger and better in the cards for you. This may be an opportunity for you to invest in some training to upgrade your skills, which may help you get promoted in the future. Or maybe you realize it’s time to revisit your career goals. This might result in switching departments within your existing workplace or seeking a position with another company.  

If, after going through these 4 steps, you find yourself thinking that the best thing for your career is to move on, that’s okay. Alexandra Phillips, a New York-based business coach and consultant, says, “If you want to continue your professional growth, it’s necessary for you to be part of a working environment that actively promotes your professional development.” That environment may be with another organization.

Start researching opportunities that can fulfill your career goals. You might find that there’s a better fit someplace other than where you are now. However, don’t hastily quit your current position. It’s always a good idea to show that you’re currently employed while you’re interviewing for something new.