While most big hospitality companies (and many small ones) have a formal policy about job references, not everybody abides by it.

Even if a reference doesn’t say anything definitely damning, he or she will often use a lukewarm tone of voice or vague, terse comments to put down a candidate or to hint at a less-than-stellar performance. As one former boss told a reference checker recently: “I’d rather not comment. You can take that however you want.”

Have you ever suspected that your former boss was giving you a bad reference? Leave your comments at the bottom of this story.

The first step in resolving the problem is: Use different references. This was your first job out of college, but aren’t there other bosses from previous part-time jobs whose names you could give instead? What about former colleagues who could say good things about your work? And this time, be sure and check with them first.

Just in case they’ve forgotten how great you were, you can even give them a shortlist of accomplishments you’d appreciate their mentioning when employers call. If you decline to give your old boss’s name as a reference, and a hiring manager asks about it, you can say you never hit it off with this person and you doubt he’s a fair judge of your skills and achievements. Then move the conversation on to the (far more interesting) topic of what you have to offer.

At some point in their careers, many people run into a boss they have a conflict with. It’s better to be upfront about this in the interview process, and most hiring managers will understand this. However, in case some prospective employers might still try to contact your old boss, you’ll want to get ahead of the negativity and have your own response to it ready to go. For example, maybe you stumbled a bit in your previous position. Rather than lying about it (which just makes you look worse in the long run), explain to your employer that you faced some challenges in your last job but also clearly explain the steps you’ve taken since then to improve on your skills, approach, or performance.

When a potential employer can clearly see where you’ve struggled but also, and most importantly, how you’ve overcome those struggles so you’re better equipped to perform your job duties, they’re much more inclined to understand and accept a poor professional reference.

But, in some rare cases, you may be dealing with a former employer who is spreading a false sense of your employment history. If worse comes to worst and you feel that a previous boss is only intent on lying about your past performance just to make you look bad, it may be time to think about legal action. Consider hiring a lawyer to write a cease-and-desist letter.

What does a typical cease-and-desist say? It might point out that giving out false information about a former employee beyond dates of employment and job title is in violation of company policy and — depending on state law where you live — possibly also a violation of the employee’s privacy rights.

A stern letter from a lawyer is usually enough to make a bad (and incorrect) reference change their tune since no one wants the expense and embarrassment of a lawsuit.