Hospitality is based on creating connections with guests and team members through small talk, but for some, small talk may not come as easily immediately or can even feel intimidating. Learning the four elements of conversation can greatly help any hospitality professional feel more comfortable with small talk, and with practice make a conversationalist of you yet! 

So many hospitality professionals enjoy the industry for the connections and relationships they create and these elements of conversation can make forming those connections easier and stronger, keeping guests coming back to see you and making the workplace more enjoyable. 

What are the 4 elements? 

• Asking
• Informing
• Including 
• Proposing 

How to properly use each element in a hospitality setting 

1. Asking

This is exactly what it says, asking a question. Asking someone a low-pressure question that isn’t overly personal helps break the ice. Start by asking the guest why they are staying at the property, where they are coming from, or if they’re in town for a specific event or reason. 

If you are talking with a coworker, you can ask questions about their interests outside of work, if they are watching any good tv shows, or what type of music they like.

This allows for you to learn a bit more about the person and open the door to make recommendations or even ask them for a recommendation. Avoid asking a yes or no question so you can both respond more in-depth. 

2. Informing 

This element is sharing some information about yourself, that again does not have to be overly personal. For example, if you are a server, you can say something like “When I tried our espresso martini, I substituted it with tequila…” or if you’re a concierge you can say “last week I went to the new exhibit at the museum…” 

If you are talking with a coworker, try talking about something you did during your weekend or day off, or a new recipe you tried making. 

This allows the person you are conversing with to ask follow-up questions, gives some insight into your interests and it removes the pressure to talk about something you are not familiar with. 

3. Including 

This element is more dependent on your listening and observation skills. If you are in a group of people and you see someone is quiet but their nonverbal communication indicates they’d like to speak, try asking them their opinion or a question. 

Maybe you are a bellperson or front desk agent and you notice someone standing alone towards a corner, try approaching them and starting a conversation. Pay close attention to if their body language is receptive to someone, however. If they are standing with their arms crossed or seemingly closed off to people, they likely don’t want someone to approach them. 

If you are a bartender and a guest is sitting at the bar alone but they are looking around as if inviting someone to approach them, start a conversation! Ask them if they are staying at the hotel or a local, or maybe ask them what type of alcohol and drink profile they like and offer them a drink suggestion. 

4. Proposing 

Don’t worry, this type doesn’t involve a ring! This just means you keep things moving forward. This is the opportunity to have a more in-depth conversation or add in an action item to help build the conversation. Maybe sitting down with the guest to help them plan out an itinerary, or booking an experience in town, or offering them a private cooking class with your chef, or mixology lesson.