Saying “no” to your boss can be daunting, even when you have valid reasons. You want to be a team player, but some requests are outside of your job description or simply can’t fit in with your current workload.

Whether you’ve been asked to take on an extra task or invited to the office happy hour, here’s how to politely refuse these requests and still be a key member of the team.

Table of Contents

1. Saying Not to a Task
2. Saying No to a Work or Networking Event
3. Saying No to a Social Gathering

Saying No to a Task

Your boss has their own busy to-do list to manage, which may include delegating tasks and responsibilities to a whole department. They can’t be expected to keep close track of everyone else’s workload. So it’s common to be asked to take on yet another project when your schedule is already jam-packed. 

You may also have to decline a task because it’s outside of your expertise, or not within your purview. While we never want to utter the dreaded “That’s not my job,” there are other ways you can tactfully refuse requests from your boss. 

• Unfortunately, I’m just swamped today. But I can work on that later in the week.
• Right now I’m working on Project A and Project B. Is this a higher priority?
• I’d be happy to help, but I don’t have the proper training. Mary is a whiz at that, and she can have it done in no time.
• I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed right now. Can someone else take this on?
• This is really something that the whole department should be able to do. Can we set up training so I can show them how?
• I’m wrapping up my current projects in preparation for my vacation time next week. Is there someone else on the team who can work on this?

Saying No to a Work or Networking Event

Conferences, seminars, lunch-and-learn events, networking happy hours—all of these events can have value, but they also require an investment of your time and energy. When you have a full work schedule and a busy family life, it can be hard to fit these extras into your life. So what can you say when the boss is pushing you to attend yet another three-day conference?

• I got a lot out of that last event. Maybe Steve would benefit from attending this one?
• I’d love to go, but that week is packed because of X Project. We’ve been working hard to meet that deadline, and I’d hate to miss it.
• As we discussed in my interview, work-life balance is one of my key values. That event would have me miss out on important family time, so I have to decline.
• We just brought two new members to the team, and I’m not comfortable leaving them on their own yet. Maybe next time.

Saying No to a Social Gathering

Trying to cut back on the booze, or spend less money? Social gatherings with your boss and coworkers can be a good way to build rapport, but they may not always align with your values or goals. Or you may just be an introvert who prefers to unwind on your own rather than with a group. Here’s how you can decline.

• Thank you for the invite! I have a conflicting event that day, so I’ll have to pass. 
• I’d be happy to sit down for a chat. Can we do a morning coffee instead of happy hour?